FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) syndrome, more often than not, is described as a social anxiety that stems from our comparison with others and the belief that something amazing has happened in the lives of others as much as we do. we were absent.
The symptoms are many. Psychologist Jarmila Tomková talks to the global cyber company saferkidsonlinebetter safetyς ESET και εξηγεί τις επιπτώσεις του συνδρόμου FOMO στην ψυχική health young and old.
How would you define FOMO syndrome, meaning "the fear of being left out of what is happening around you"? Is FOMO syndrome different from sadness, jealousy, or social exclusion?
FOMO is associated with all these emotions. People may feel sad and indecisive or believe that they are not making the right decisions in their lives and therefore do not live as satisfying lives as others.
This syndrome usually occurs when people are going through a difficult period and we are not completely happy with ourselves. So we focus more on watching what others do to confirm that we are good enough and that we are not out of things.
The problem, however, is that FOMO causes anxiety and a sense of dependence. That is, we do not observe the lives of others with pleasure and joy. On the contrary, this whole process makes us feel sad.
There is a close relationship between FOMO and social media, which are actively used mainly by the younger generations. Can FOMO Syndrome Develop in Adults?
Yes maybe. People struggling with FOMO syndrome feel the urgent need to know what is going on around them, while at the same time depending on this need.
For adults, this can happen in a variety of ways - such as constantly watching the news and not being able to miss anything. There is a difference between constantly watching the news, having the stress of not missing anything, and watching the news daily with the calm that you do not need to know everything.
However, adults can get into the process of constantly checking social media to make sure they aren't missing out on activities, recognition, connections with friends, colleagues, or current trends.
Can you give us an example?
If, for example, one feels insecure about one's job, one may be much more likely to control the discussions of the relevant group and tend to be more active and dependent on posting to online professional groups.
It depends on the psychological position from which one participates in these online activities.
How does FOMO syndrome affect different age groups? If FOMO is more likely to develop in a crisis or with low self-esteem, can it be a greater risk for adolescents?
In adults, FOMO syndrome can develop when we feel alone, when we lose our partner or when we are fired. At that point, we may doubt ourselves and feel that we have failed, which can lead to FOMO syndrome.
Adolescents, on the other hand, are particularly vulnerable because, as all research in developmental psychology confirms, their self-esteem is more fragile. Self-esteem at this stage of development largely depends on what others think and do. As a result, teens are more likely to be left out. They need to find their place and feel accepted by their environment.
Fear of exclusion may be why they are constantly on social media. They seek reassurance and constantly interact with others people.
However, on social media, can they only see the great things that everyone else does?
Right, and then you start texting other people because you want to be a part of that world, and while you feel relaxed at first, then you start constantly checking their talks and whether someone has replied to you with a message or not.
Thus, loneliness and frequent use of social networking is the ground for its development FOMO. And while an adult can better manage these emotions, a 14-year-old girl does not deal with them so easily.
FOMO can lead to impaired concentration, with extreme cases that leave people feeling unable to stay home and have to go outside. Is it dangerous to ignore our basic needs, such as sleep and rest?
Very good question. The feeling that you can not sleep and the need to control what others do, can lead you to keep yourself awake and unable to sleep or rest. But our lives must be based on a pattern where action and inaction alternate.
To what extent does the social environment influence this behavior?
The fear of being left out of what is happening around us is partly a result of current trends in society. In many shows that teenagers watch, there is a similar narrative: the protagonists often go out and have fun, look perfect and always do something.
If you live in a city, you may also feel the urge to go out all the time - the city is alive, active, always up and running. We are influenced by digital marketing, which makes people adopt specific behaviors, buy things or even crave artificially created values.
Έχει αλλάξει κάτι σε αυτές τις τάσεις μετά την άφιξη της πανδημίας COVID-19;
Not particularly. On the one hand, the pandemic kept us at home, on the other hand we were invited to do a lot of online activities. There have been many online courses, which may have strengthened our need to stay connected. Some people started watching TV series so as not to be left out.
Similarly, you can do yoga simply because everyone else does. But the trigger is still the feeling of stress. The pandemic has not changed that much. Many people feel anxious now, or their past anxiety has worsened. This was due to fewer opportunities for social activities.
Thus, we lacked the opportunities to build self-esteem and experience joy. People are more at risk of FOMO syndrome in a pandemic.
Is it possible to restrict FOMO to children without reducing the use of technology?
When parents notice that their children are constantly using their phones, that they feel the need to look at the screen for several hours and watch what is happening, it does not necessarily mean that they are suffering from FOMO. If teens are in love, they are constantly looking at their phones - there is no syndrome.
However, if young people have doubts, feel bad or behave strangely, you should talk to them. This is half the battle. The first step is to let them know about it.
Explain to them that while the risk of FOMO is linked to social media, it's a pre-existing risk (so they don't feel like we're rejecting social media) – talk about it as a social phenomenon, rather than banning social media .
What else can parents do?
We can influence the time our children spend on social networks. It is good to limit time to young children. We can then lead them to realize how they feel when they spend half or four hours in the Facebook or Instagram every day.
We can make a small workshop for children, where we will present data from relevant research, our own experience or the experience of another family. Help them realize that certain profiles or content on the internet are not helping them feel good.
Explain to them that they do not need to look at them or let them know how the ad works. Help them get through this critical period of their lives with as few wounds as possible. Adolescence is not a pleasant period, let's admit it.
What should a parent do so that children do not seek the approval of others so strongly, can accept themselves as they are, and are not so easily influenced by the reality of social media?
They can, for example, constantly point out to their children that they are unique, tell them how much they love them, appreciate some of their qualifications - but pay attention to performance-oriented praise - instead focusing on creativity and skills. their perseverance and attention.
Let the children feel that they are unique people and that they are fine as they are. In this way, children will know why they are doing what they are doing and will understand what their real needs are, what their motivation is and what their motivations are.
