Everyone in this photo one day will die (photo of
Adam Fagen)
Look, one day you will die. Deformed inside an industrial fan. Having struck with a light bulb. Peacefully while you sleep after masturbation without precedent. It does not matter so much how you die. Your veins will shrink in the flesh. New formations will grow inside your head, neck and lungs. You will die. Your muscles will tremble and dissolve. Your bones begin to rub and become dust. You are dying. You are dying right now. You will die.
Anyway: Facebook knows this and for this it presents a new tool to help users manage their accounts after the time of death. As he says
The Next Web The new tool "Your Legacy Contact" will allow you to appoint a friend, who will take control of your account if you end up. This person will be able to pin one last message on your homepage, notify your friends about the funeral, and update your profile to make it more serious and appropriate.
The profile picture is the most important of all. I have a nagging feeling that I might one day be murdered—my limbs end up in garbage cans, my head at the bottom of a lake, my torso fed to dogs, or something—and I worry about what picture of me will used in the news, as part of the manhunt that will be organized with torches and dogs to locate what is left of my genitalia. I'm afraid she'll be the one who's too young, has acne scars, my hair is shit, and I drink beer through the shower at some house party. Maybe she's the one who's face down on the floor after being hit in the balls with a wooden bat. Or maybe the one I'm dressed as his character Nintendo in an awful club, looking like I just realized I fell for it. There are no decent, respectable photos of my existence. This is what I fear more than anything to do with the inevitability of death.
Last summer we had to open mom's laptop - luckily she was still logged in - and post "Hi everyone, although it's a bit cheesy" on her status - then request Facebook to digitally bury her account. It was a bit of a strange thing to manage during an already strange and sad time, but imagine what if he had Twitter or Instagram or a network αλλόκοτων ρατσιστών φίλων που είχε γνωρίσει κάνοντας σχόλιο κάτω από video κλιπ στο YouTube. Όλοι αυτοί οι accounts they should be closed and passed into immortality. The friends he only had online should be notified. The internet is making dying more and more complicated.
I guess this is an indication that Facebook is growing. 8 years ago it was a platform where exuberant youth could share their pictures of their night walks. Then it became the place where you could announce your first dumb little relationship and your even dumber breakup. You've thrown every party you've been to for the last five years through it. It knows friends' birthdays and yours, important events for you better than you. The Facebook grew up with us-holding our hand by sending us invitations to Farmville, letting us know our situation by writing something like, "I just lost my cell phone. Send me all your phones "- and now he is studying the issue of death. I'm not saying that Facebook literally wants us to die, but Facebook has definitely been transformed and is now really aware of death, in this panic-like way that causes sweat.
The Facebook he woke up doing cocaine and tripped over a fox in the street and just freaked out. Facebook calls you at 5am. and he tells you "dude, I love you. I know I don't say it enough but dude just don't forget I love you. Because one day we're all going to die and I don't want you to die not knowing that I love you." Facebook says "do you want to play Candy Crush right now?"
Creating "Your Legacy Contact" is probably a more important decision than the emergency contact you fill out in an employment contract. Maybe more than choosing a best man or best man at a wedding. You die at work and you just need the most responsible person in your family to put your inflated corpse in a coffin. But your Facebook page? You need someone who will "Like" every message full of compassion. Someone who knows in which selfie from Instagram you are prettier. Someone to hide all those photos of you from the parties where you fainted and had your ass out. In essence, the role of Legacy Contact is primarily as an author: to filter out all the bad parts of your life and to embellish and enhance the good like painting.
Anyway, you'll be fine. You have a long time yet. You will live forever. But for the rest - all doomed with invisible timers above our heads that count back to death - Legacy Contact is a tough reminder that the Facebook party is over and that our youth is but a glimpse of memory and that it also needs to begin to make our responsible people friends before the end will inevitably come to an end.
