"...don't post or send anything you wouldn't want grandparents to see."
Recent research from the digital security company ESET revealed basically data in relation to sexting among young people in the UK. What are the risks associated with sexting and how can we keep our children safe?
Children spend more and more time on their devices, either through social networking applications or playing online games. Recent figures show that children in the UK are passing from 7,5 to 9 hours a day looking at a screen.
While much of what they do is completely innocent, there is a growing trend of children sending erotic photos and messages to their peers or even strangers online.
Sexting (from the union of the word sex and texting) is the exchange and the λήψη love messages, videos or photos in the digital space. It can start as a joke or an innocent joke with friends while discovering one's sexuality, or as part of a romantic relationship. However, like any other online activity involving sensitive data, sending personal information carries potential risks.
According to ESET's recent “Think Twice” survey, 39% were minors (under 18) when they sent their first personal photo or video with sexual content. Consensual sexting is most common between partners, but is not uncommon between complete strangers, especially teenagers.
Something that has been shared, even once, can never be completely deleted. It can be used by anyone with access to it for intimidation or blackmail. The malicious use of consensually sent photos or videos of sexual content mainly occurs between disillusioned partners after a break-up.
ESET research shows that the most common social media for sending sexual content among teenagers are WhatsApp (37%) and Snapchat (30%). While these apps may offer time-limited viewing, it's important to remember that shared images can be screenshotted and saved.
Teens and sexting: evidence from ESET's Think Twice survey in the UK.
- 19% of respondents were minors when they received their first sex message (sext)
- 39% of respondents were underage when they sent their first erotic photo or video.
- 29% of minors send at least one sex message a week.
- 58% of respondents regret sending a personal video or image.
- 28% of respondents say a photo/video they've sent has been used maliciously.
- 32% of respondents would go to police if their photo/video was misused.
- 44% of respondents in Great Britain did not know that it was illegal to induce or encourage someone under 18 to send or receive sex messages.
How to approach sexting as a parent? Stay calm and reasonable
Don't set too strict rules for phone and social media use – being overprotective of your child can lead to an even greater desire to engage in activities like sexting. Educate your children about the unwanted consequences of sexting and use specific examples.
Important tips for teenagers
If the teen is determined to share erotic photos with someone, they should always be anonymous. Their content should not show their face or other identifying marks, such as tattoos or birthmarks. Also, the background of the photo should not reveal anything. They should be careful not to show their face in a mirror or on a readable screen. All of these can lead to easy identification and potentially be used for blackmail.
If your child detects malicious use of their photos or videos, they should reach out to a parent, teacher or trusted peer who can support them. In extreme cases, the situation can be resolved with the help of the police authorities.
If someone sends them a photo with sexual content and asks for something in return, children should remember that this could be a trap. Legally, no one has the right to blackmail others or threaten to publish private photos.
If children come to you for advice, reassure them by emphasizing that this was the best move they could have made. Don't judge them. Instead, show them that you support and accept them, so they can regain their confidence and feel good about themselves again. Communication is the key to a healthy family environment. Teenagers are more likely to trust reasonable and calm parents. An environment of open communication leads to awareness and reduces the excitement of engaging in nefarious online activities. It's not okay to pressure someone into sending a sexual image or video, so teach your kids to be brave and report it.
Tell them what the boundaries are
The main rule you should seek agreement on with your children is the use of personal information online. Are your kids confused about what to share and what not to share? Give them a living example: "don't post or send anything you wouldn't want grandparents to see."
They should always think twice about what they upload to the online world, including their seemingly private conversations and discussions. This approach limits the risk of malicious use of their personal photos.
Children should never send photos, videos or private messages to someone they don't know. Guide them to secure messaging apps that ensure communication stays between sender and receiver. Focus on early education and open discussions so that when children begin to explore their sexuality online and off, they know the risks and how to avoid them.
Finally, let's remember that non-consensual sexting is illegal and your kids should know this. In other words, any type of sexual message that is not consented to by both parties is considered sexual harassment. Moreover, not only the sender but also anyone who promotes this kind of content can be found guilty.
